College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
