the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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