I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
