So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
