What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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