She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
