My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
