i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
