i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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