If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
