Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
