note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
