So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We need a shit load of segways right now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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