Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
