Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
