i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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