My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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