Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
