Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
