when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
this is an emotional support booty call
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
