I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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