well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
