hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
