All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
