She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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