Screwed.edu
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize