I got chris browned last night
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
