so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
