can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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