Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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