He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is my gift to your gina
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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