It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize