i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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