I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize