you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We have started to decorate penises.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
