I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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