so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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