I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
