I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
