i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize