Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i already hear my dad disowning me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
