Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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