sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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