So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
