wrigley field is MILF paradise
I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
