Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
