Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
