Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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