oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize