apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
