end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
