I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
