my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
