I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
