I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
