How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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