i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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