I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
