...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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