she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
