This is not my ceiling
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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