So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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