hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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