yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
