so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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