That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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