No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she peed on how many people?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
