yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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