I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize