just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
