Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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