Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
