The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
