do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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