Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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