He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
